The Past Never Departs Without Impression

12/05/2009 at 12:51 am (Consciousness, Feelings, Life, Purpose, Thoughts, Unity)

 

I have been faced with a lot of truths since February, and as strong as I thought I was or have pretended to be my whole life, I have since realized I am no more than a tender little girl lost between the seams of her hearts transgressions. These places play upon me like guitar chords, mesmerizing when I can touch them, and as the momentary notes fade I sink into their existence, let them swim and swirl round me in a melodic affair with this life. Nothing has changed inside, it stayed there dreaming about an angelic heart, as though it had flown too close to the sun, my Icarus, and burned up without me. Today, everything falls away and changes, transforming into things I don’t have to care for too much. I miss those sweet quiet times of deep vibration, as if my whole body resonated inside the time shared, unbroken inside it’s shattered reality, falling away into just that very moment. As long as I have stood on a corner yelling I don’t need anything, or I should be thankful, maybe I need you. You, deeply falling into me, reminding me of the moments greater than the minds thoughts, hearing again without words, things moving all around but not falling away. My world was on fire before, inhaling all the air around me but not breathing for personal cares, isolated and aware without an island.
Maybe those time I shared were more than me, more than I can equate, rationally piece together. But I need them, they are me, all of me wrapped inside the movement but never swaying, I tried without and truly failed. Maybe I need to let go of myself to feel again, this me I have created from broken two by fours, maybe I needed you to remind me, here, covering the miles that I left behind. I want a cabin in the snow with a fireplace and a week..
  
                           

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The Shape of Our Soul

07/16/2009 at 1:54 pm (Consciousness, Feelings, Life, Purpose, Thoughts, Unity) (, , , , , , , )

If life is such that the sages account, this is all an illusion, leading towards the next experience that shapes our soul. All dependant upon the paths traveled, the roads turning, the previous procurements. All is such a mystery they say, no mind nor ego can place its meaning. Resistance is futile, only the manner in which we navigate into the next moment matters. In all life’s twists and turns, these simple advices seem to hold weight upon a scale that cannot, in time, remanifest the hot face that shown with anger or the nausea that brought pain, or taste the sweet life that filled you, or bounce among your accomplishments, you are simply left inside an ideal of what the emotions brought to pass, those secluded islands among the nature you now posses. All remains in hindsight, if it were not for such a great place there would be no drive for excellence, no passion, no hunger for another time, another try. It is but the human ego that suffers upon the mirror of existence, the memory that recounts and the mind that distinguishes these similarities, mere stimuli for a complex vehicle awaiting more gas. We strive for more, strive to be a part of a whole, always looking towards others, or things, or here in there or there to be here, and as the moments have faded, when reminded, we wander into the places we have been, holding the key of hindsight, and there among the shadows a door may be revealed. Upon each recognition of frailty, loss, wrong, right, conditions, fear, doubt, strife, struggle, happiness, faith, hope, courage, strength, love, or maybe a simple dream, beyond, awaiting us in a room filled with life is the moment that was lost to the confusion of our own greatness. To not stand upright into the next moment that could have overcome the reflection of what once was, overcome that survival mechanism that has long been outdated, embrace the beauty that was before us, exalt the passion into others, and wander into the arms of acceptance without the mental mind frame to dim, or the simple pleasures to sway, or the contrite words to conquer, but simply release and bring into life the maturity of a thousand before us. Consciousness is our right, our reason among our seasons, our only strength against the ego that drives a country to ruin, a hope to pass, a moment to fade. It is not the spotlight upon us, it is the release towards the forest through the tress, it is the route that leads all towards unity in recognizing ourselves. Consciousness ignites a soul to continue, even among the darkness the horse will find water, holding the key of hindsight, there among the desert an oasis will be found. It is all around us, swelling among the ethers, awaiting our seizure of the moment, our true footsteps among greatness, our souls shape within a infinite universe.
 
 
 
 

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Socioeconomic Obligations – We all Begin Somewhere

07/12/2009 at 6:16 pm (Feelings, Legacy, Life, National Awareness, Purpose, Socioecomic, Thoughts, Unity)

 
Have you ever felt a life without want?? Where did you go? What did you do? Was there a sky? A wasted moon? A flutterby gently flittering within your sights? A shadow among the tree? A skeleton under your blanket? A hummingbird soaring for your tender affection?

Entertainment lends itself to broken bits of hope, it flails and flounders, severed yet leeching the light from the silent soul that lives. It is a pompous ego that breeds and a mealy mouth that independently struggles against the bravery of discovering oneself. Adopting yourself into the moments among this life can yield gifts that span beyond the imaginative embraces of want.

There is this movement among my generation that believes the only contribution they have to this life is for entertainment purposes. They contort their bodies, suck flesh from them, add fat to them, place bags in them, dress themselves in pricey garb and seek adoration from strangers in this world, a moments fancy within their drama, and they call it life. I see the life around me, it is not entertainment, it is sorely lacking the attention that it desires, it is starving, bleeding from bullets of hate, thirsting for water, and imprisoned by those that feel they are different, smarter or better, but none of it is entertaining to me.

Among the conscious decisions that we are granted in this life, above all others we should be instilled at a very young age, decisions of ethical obligation, for those that lack, those that have should embark upon restructuring our social economic foundations. From the base of our society we should reach out to those that could benefit from time and efforts, social centers of hobby, centers of a community that can enrich the true natures of our society, and enable these children of our future with the tools to assist them in situations we may not be a witness to, share strengths for character that will eventually allow the prevalent destructive behaviors to be unacceptable within this society. We currently have a ticking time bomb in our hands and many blind eyes entertain themselves with distractions of gluttony; food, drink, unnecessary objects of expense, sex, porn, self centered entertainment lacking intimacy, immediate gratifications in all their wondrous shapes and intricate designs?!

As the degradation of our society becomes known to the world we continue to struggle with these better than the Jones’s notions, continue to live a life without care, what was once a powerful nation has now bankrupt itself to every country around us and the games continue!? We must take care everywhere, everyday, to end this cycle of masochism, truly we only hurting our quality of life as the food chain dwindles. Those around us begin to fall deeply, beyond our reach, there is no entertainment in this, it is real, alive and should be very painful to witness. To release this burden we must fight for our nation, each and every one that creates it, the trickle down effect has to end, eventually it will be you, or I, each of us are accountable and an intricate piece within this puzzle. The longer we continue to deny our own frailties, the longer we isolate our problems, the deeper the muck becomes.

Have we all become so right and special the we can no longer walk upon the same landscape? Perhaps we are all different in perception, in choices, in routine, but elementally, energetically, we are all made up of the same finite particles that dwell inside this world. It is a place that must be honored, a place of unity, a place without religious boundaries, or concepts, we tread upon the same Earthly ground skewing its views to meet our selfish ends?! Is that all we are here for? Is this to be our legacy?

So we are smart, cute, funny, peculiar, hot, unique, beautiful, confused, pained, at odds, at a crossroads, right, wrong, burdened, poor, hungry, tired, stressed, ruined, beginning again, feeling, caring, sentimental, kind, giving, loving, joyous, too smiley, weird, talkative, rich, elaborate, eclectic, egotistical, interesting, healing, hopeful, divine, an object of affection, quirky, flamboyant, intense, strong, intelligent, too thin, too dark, too light, tasteless, cruel, broken, abused, spoiled, extravagant, immoral, excited, glowing, sweet, sour, sick, ill, creative, strange, isolated, obsessive, addicted, controlling, lost, happy, depressed?!? Okay, these are places in our time, pieces of us that create an environment of witness, experience, they are life, all our lives, somewhere, in time.

To reach inside and pull that place of empathy from its core of recognition, to hold your heart in your hand, exposed, to ask, to share, to give, to feel, all life is our obligation, eat it, beat it, kill it, hold it, comfort it, embrace it, laugh at it, joke, persecute it, strip it, chew it up, touch it, sense it, listen to it, adore it, make peace with it whatever you choose to do to it, but know that you have effected it, know that you have taken part in it, and at night be grateful you had it, or change, reach out, open up to it, break the glass ceiling of patterns, rise above your past, reach into your hopes, look into the spaces before you with eyes that feel. Have a hand in change, changing the emptiness that believes nothing matters, nothing counts. It does, one of us somewhere has felt it, knows of it. There is no empty spaces between in this world, they all live and breath inside one of us, somewhere, right or wrong, special or not, followed, forgotten, but never unfelt.  We are all children to the unknown, life in one hand, choices in the other, we must find a way to meet in the middle.

 

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Escaping the Idea of the Ouroboros

07/10/2009 at 2:32 pm (Feelings, Life, Thoughts, Unity) (, , , , , )

Such is this simple life that it can follow paths into a darkness, steal away the very time that creates it, and circle itself round and round its egoistic rationale. As an Ouroboros recreating its pain of devouring itself, a continuous cycle of reflection lends itself to destruction and finally back into life. Like children we have been taught to depict, divide, compute, discerning here from there as steps, not people or spirits, not souls we may meet again, leading the mind into a machine of destruction only in time to find faith where the thread was cut. Caught so heavily in this world of material behavior, the limbs that walk, the ears that are capable of listening, and the tongue that speaks has been taken from the very core of our existence. Yet unknowingly the pain inside that causes this separation form truth is the only connection we have to ourselves, we coil, squirm from this life and those around us. In truth there are no answers without being, there is no right or wrong, it is the purification from our thoughts that is necessary, without the life that breathes around us, no matter our comfort level, we must learn to be our eternal selves. When we devour our thoughts to the extent of loosing this life we chew on the very cord that connects our soul to the nature of its journey. To see your shadow in your reflection, to sense your history before feeling the present, to be lost yet found, eternity is difficult. As infinite strokes divide, they unite, meeting yourself in each crevice, yet consistently letting death be. On and on a cyclic existence is known. Yet there must be a middle where you can follow that sense of your path and embrace divinity. To know is to be without life, to feel is to structure your place within, to question is to loose the seconds that spill into the hourglass of reflection. To liberate like the dawn across the great divide and walk into each moments eternity is not known as the hands of time, it inhales and exhales as a united soul within us, if we knew where we were going we would have no need for life, if we were meant for one thing we would not live, if a simple truth is the answer we are already home, we must listen, see the dawn, sense the night, and walk silently into the present life that is as a gift before us. Yet we swallow all we keep telling ourselves, deeper until we meet the beginning and miss the past. I like my soul the way it is, here I am, here, over here, okay maybe we are everywhere meeting ourselves in everyone. I would rather be now than be lost to myself later, if I fumble or fall, I learned, if I bruise or batter I accept my deeds, if I breath and love among all, I live as I was meant to, here and now.
  

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The Wall of Entropic Consciousness

06/25/2009 at 6:14 pm (Entropy, Feelings, Life, Thoughts) (, , , , )

As the ice melts away in my glass I wonder to myself how much consciousness of my progressive life has melted away and what remains a factor within that glass? My mind has always been astir, frantically equating the rationale of my existence within each moment, the weights and measures of my created future; heat up with a driving force of need, cool down with the affirmations of placing necessities. All the while I felt I held the reigns among this untamed random existence, yet at each step I met with my environment, much like a free energy exchange and my encounters began to develop equilibrium. What was once in disorder by egoistic practices of predicting future events began to rationally exist within my present place in time; thus dissipating the entropy within my consciousness. Heat and light are indestructible forms of matter, they exist without our conscious contribution, I am flesh and bone and the energy that unites me to live within this world is based upon this reality. Refracting and repelling like souls upon each encounter, my judgment of a moment may in turn create an irreversible consequence until later review, if in fact I recharge the situation with weights and measures or I choose to let its energy dissipate. Statistical Mathematics would have you believe there is no consciousness within the distribution of energy…everyday consciousness exists among energy, mankind is the distribution of energy, therefore an attribution to all equations, somehow, all these principles need to unite. Everything is energy, we all interact, we all progress, regress, dissipate, and regroup to form new found principles of our secular environments. Such is life, existence and the fundamental principles of creation. Here you have a soothsayer that attempts, such as a Mathematician or a physicist, or a Physic that tries to define a future-seriously let it live and experience, embrace your principles that exist within your creation, place a wall upon the entropy of consciousness and encompass equilibrium. Give thanks and breath,we are not another equation of rationale,we are life units of matter embarking upon encounters that create new theories of our energies copulation with life.

 

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